The Words

Hello there! The first official review post for the year 2013 will be the film The Words (2012) directed by Brian Klugman and Lee Sternthal.

My friend began recommending this film left and right and so I had to check it out. I watched this without any idea who starred in it, what it would be about and so on and so forth. So there are three sort of intertwining story lines throughout and you sorta question if any, some or all of it is really happening. It was like a book within a book within a book thing. Book-ception. So I'm going to separate the three happenings:

Clay Hammond and Daniella:

• So the film begins with Dennis Quaid reading extracts from his recent novel. As he is reading this out to a room full of critiques and interviewers and other old people who would go to these kinds of book readings, Olivia Wilde comes in to listen halfway. Woman, what the hell are you doing coming to these things late? Just because you're gorgeous....
• Anyways during the breaks between Part 1 and Part 2 of his reading, they meet and she reveals that she want to interview even though she begins spouting off that she has read and watched every interview he has ever been in and knowing EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM. I swear if it  were anyone but Olivia Wilde saying this, it'd be borderline creepy.
• Also she obviously is coming onto him and it's weird. I'm all for hot middle aged genius men (RDJ ughh) but YOU'RE OLIVIA WILDE and he's DENNIS QUAID. Everytime I see him my brain shouts "PARENT TRAP"
• Anyways afterwards they go to his place and she listens to the rest of the story
• There's more but I'm going to leave it at that for now

Rory and Dora:

• Played respectfully by Bradley Cooper and Zoe Saldana. They are what Hammond's story is about. They're a cute-as young couple and Rory is a struggling writer.
• It begins with an old man waiting outside in the rain as Rory and Dora go in a limo to a book honouring event for Rory's new novel. So far, alright.
• Then it flashes back to when Rory's really good novels weren't getting published because he was so new in the industry. You know this is exactly how it is for teenagers to get jobs. To get a job, we need experience but to get experience we need to get a job. CUT US SOME SLACK, ADULTS. WE'RE DESPERATE FOR MONEY AND LEARN FAST, JUST GIMME A JOB.
• As he gets rejected he needs to ask his father for a loan and his father starts going on about Rory having to take responsibility, be a man and get a job, to let this writing thing be a hobby. I related to that kind of shit HARD. The things I love to do are all the types of jobs and industries that are terrifically difficult to get into and be successful at. So when you try to pursue these things, people always try to talk you out of it or question and doubt it. That fucking sucks. To have something you love so much be so looked down upon. It just makes you feel like all the effort and work you've put into it and all the crap you've been taking from other people about it ten times worse. Like it's pointless and futile. Especially coming from family. What got me most was how he kept repeating "It's time to be a man" or some variation of that. What does being a man have to do with anything? What about being a human being and feeling happy and accomplished in life rather than trying to be someone you're not and letting it destroy who you actually are?
• Rant over
• So as Rory looks in this old book bag that Dora got for him on their honeymoon in Paris, he finds an old manuscript/novel (It's a gorgeous book bag btw. Lets go vintage/antique shopping in Paris one day guys). He reads it all and types it up on his computer because he's so taken by it.
• By now I figured out that he was going to get it published and someone would recognise the story.
• Dora convinces him to publish it and he becomes an instant success. I really really want to read that story now. Does it exist? Probably not.
• One day he is followed by the old man to the park and they begin to talk. Things get predictable when the old man reveals it was his story. 

Jack and Celia:

• The old man tells his story set in France after the war. 
• He meets this cute French waitress and they get together and be all cute and stuff. Ice cream was eaten and they taught each other their native language. It was hella adorbz. I really wanted that kind of cuteness
• Anyway he is dismissed and has to go home to the US of A but is depressed because he is madly in love with her. So he goes back to France and they reunite in making out in the middle of a French road. They get married and have a baby and all is amazing happy and cute. Which only meant that shit was going to hit the fan. Right?
• Their baby passes away from sickness and they both fall into depression drifting apart. One night while Jack is out, Celia leaves to live with her mother for some time and space away. 
• Jack is just overwhelmed with everything that he had just lost and so begins to write and write and write. Some amazing acting here by Ben Barnes and I didn't know it was Ben Barnes until I looked up the movie after I watched it and HOLY CRAP HE IS ATTRACTIVE. His sad made me sad.
• He sends Celia the story and it convinces her to go back. She puts it in an amazing looking book bag but forgets to bring it off the train.
• The mix of the tragic loss, separation and losing the story that saved Jack's sanity made it impossible for them to fully get back together and so Jack eventually moves back to the US.

Now the old man (Who is Jeremy Irons btw) told Rory this story because Rory pretty found a part of his life and soul and used it for his own gain. Dick move, Rory. To be fair, Rory does try to make things right and tells two people the truth at the expense of his own fame and fortune. He tells Dora and it kind of really confuses me how it affected her. Like, I get that he lied but I didn't think she would take it personally. He tried to tell her when she first saw it but didn't. I knew she'd be upset and angry. Just not that much. 

The ending is hella weird between Hammond and Daniella but then we find out that Hammond is Rory and that all the events in the movie did, indeed happen. 

The movie did make me cry and relate to the characters, but I think that was more out of the amazing acting rather than script or storyline. It was good and I enjoyed it. But it left me a bit confused and wanting something more out of it. Bravo to the cast though. Very well done. 

Lord of the Rings: Two Towers & Return of the King

After literally 12 hours of watching three Lord of the Rings movie straight, everything became a blur. Not to mention the heavy amount of junk food and soft drinks. So dot points it is, covering my jumbled and overwhelmed thoughts of the three films of The Lord of the Rings:

• I really didn't like Frodo. I don't know why. I admit that's harsh considering he didn't exactly ask for all this to happen and has to carry this massive burden. But I just didn't find him likable.
• Sam was an alright character. Applauding him for actually calling Golem out on his bullshit and saving and putting up with Frodo's crap. I mean, after Frodo pretty much banished him as a friend, he saved his ass from a giant spider and orcs and CARRIED HIM OF THE MOUNTAIN OF FIRE. Most loyal friend ever.
• I believe that Legolas is really a butterfly whose only purpose in the film is serve as a plot device that would spell out, state and explain the obvious things that are happening. Everything he said was hilariously unnecessary. I also think that if the group was in the modern world, he'd be a hipster indie. He's got braids, fish plait and a love for the environment going. He's also the prettiest
• Every female in this whole franchise is useless. Liz Tyler's character was the 'woe is me'/hopeless romantic; Cate Blanchett was just weird and no likey; Eowyn, well everytime she came on screen or said something my whole group of friends would boo her off because she was coming onto Aragon and that shit ain't allowed. 
• Aragon is cool. 
• Fight scenes were amazing but arduous
• Cinematography was breathtaking
• Can we just give Martin Scorese ALL THE AWARDS FOR HIS IMPECCABLE PERFORMANCE? Smeagol and Gollum were so unsettling and disturbing and horrifying yet hilarious and pitiful. Every moment was brilliant. Especially in the beginning of Return of King where we see his descent into darkness and madness. Just amazing
• Smeagol, in my eyes, was a schizophrenic, bi-polar, psychotic 5 year old. 
• Sadness and empathy for Faramir. Sibling rivalry and parental approval/acceptance/conflict seems to transcend every dimension/realm.
• DENETHOR YOU ARE JUST THE WORST.
• Boromir...Sean Bean....You lasted longer than I thought you would but for only one movie. 
• Whyyyyyyyyyy does there have to be a giant spider? This one moved really realistically too. Ughh that thing is unnerving.
• Woah and LOL at Saruman's death. 
• PIP AND MERRY = BRO'S4LYF
• Although I do admit Legolas and Gimli come pretty close with their competition to see who could kill the most in the war. Adorbz guyzzzz.

Ok right now I'm dead tired. Overall, it was great. I think I'm a bit brain dead and overwhelmed by the amount of drama I just sat through so I can't really process properly. I'm not a big, die-hard fan but I enjoyed it. I probably would have enjoyed it more if I watched them with proper breaks in between and if I didn't see ALL the extended footage. But I saw it with a huge bunch of my friends and it was a good day. Lord of the Rings....I give it 3 out of 5 overall.

My favourite out of the three was Fellowship of the Ring. My favourite character would either be Gandalf or Aragon. Prediction count:

• People die. BOROMIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR 1/1
• The ring gets destroyed at the very end. It has to be right? That's the whole point of the whole franchise? Duh. 2/2
• There's an evil force that want's the ring for evil purposes? Because they're evil? Lol. 3/3

These don't deserve points because they're bullshit predictions. But I'll give myself some anyways =)

Lord of The Rings: Fellowship of the Ring

• There are so many bad decisions in this movie
• The establishing scene of the Fellowship was uber cute
• Letting Frodo choose which way to go? HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO GET THERE...and he chose the worst route ever
• The magical jukebox scene was good. 
• Sean Bean has the best scenes.
• There are  heaps of references I'm storing away for the hobbit too
• So glad I did this with friends
• Lol at Gandalf escaping by riding on a giant eagle
• Get your shit together Frodo
• Dean Bean touches way too many things he shouldn't and never puts it back
• Every time I ask my friends to clarify things, I feel like an idiot
• I am literally the only one here who hasn't seen this
• This cinematography is amazing fyi
• LEGOLAS FLUTTERS EVERYTIME HE MOVES
• I'm sorry but when Gandalf was being attacked and was spun, I laughed.
• So far there are elves, dwarves, wizards, humans, and some randoms
• Everytime I recognise an actor I think about what else they've been in: Sean Ben = Game of Thrones, Liz Tyler = Armageddon, Charlie from Lost, Agent Smith from the Matrix
• "One does not simply walk into Mordor"
• I want Gandalf's hat and magic staff thing
• Liz Tyler is gorgeous. On A JennaMarble's scale, I'm on a level 2 girl crush for her
• This music is SO dramatic
• Orcs
• The hobbits are children and Gandalf is their protective grandpa who scolds them really well
• Here comes the unending supply of arrows conundrum
• Freaking Frodo
• I'm gna equate him to Elena now
• Legolas is a stellar fighter
• CABIN IN THE WOODS GOD/MONSTER/ANCIENT ONE. Was freaking reference to thisssssssss. 
• I'M SORRY. BUT DID WE JUST DO AN UBER CLOSE UP ON FRODO SCREAMING/AGONY FACE FOR WHAT FELT LIKE 10 MINUTES FOR A STAB WOUND THAT NEVER ACTUALLY PENETRATED SKIN?
• "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
• I cant handle Frodo's eyes. They're just....nyehhhh
• I really don't like Cate Blanchett
• I stopped liveblogging at this point.

Special Announcement!

Hey non existent readers! I have some awesome and potentially dangerous news.

Next Thursday (Australia/future time), I am holding a Lord of the Rings marathon at my place with a bunch of friends in honour of The Hobbit coming out!

I've calculated and see that it is 9 hours and 18 minutes....not including extended scenes and footage that my friends have and we are going to watch. So this will be taxing day, whether it be on my health or emotional state or my mental state.

I'll try to figure out how to record my reactions in one form or another in order to do a full out review afterwards.

So here is my knowledge of Lord of the Rings (which is mainly made up of singular words and pronouns):

• Elijah Wood = Frodo
• His friend's name is Sam? Which is a weirdly normal name for this universe. I mean...his best friend's name is Frodo...
• There are two other guys and one of them plays Charlie from Lost
• They're hobbits which are different from dwarfs
• Middle Earth
• New Zealand
• Gandalf
• Sauron?
• Ring that has weird writing inside and does stuff and is significant
• Evil Dobby named Golem
• "My precious....."
• Orlando Bloom
• There's a lot of walking and journeying through New Zealand  Middle Earth
• Btw is Middle Earth the name of the whole universe or just the name of one specific section in the universe? See, I have the same problem with Game of Thrones. Is Winterfell the whole universe or just one region? DON'T ANSWER THAT

This looks like I know a lot (to me it does) but I'm just saying words that I've heard around everywhere. Because...you know...I live under a well informed rock. So here are predictions:

• People die
• The ring gets destroyed at the very end. It has to be right? That's the whole point of the whole franchise?
• There's an evil force that want's the ring for evil purposes? Because they're evil?

Yeah that's all. I don't know. 

Breaking Dawn Part 2 and Vampire Diaries S04E06

So this won't contain spoilers, per say, but it does hint and imply a lot of what happens. So read at your own risk? I don't know....

Breaking Dawn:
Kristen Stewart looked admittedly really good. But that's a given since she's all vampirey now. The "graphics" or whatever the hell they did to Renesmee did not help one bit. It had the signature awkwardness you'd expect from the franchise and so much ludicrousy that you don't know whether be to angry, hysterical or horrified.  

They gave us exactly what we wanted. As soon as that head was ripped off, I (and the rest of my friends beside me) were just frozen. In shock. Jaws on floor. A sort of mental collect "WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?" We weren't expecting this. We've all the read the book. This didn't happen. WE ALL WANTED IT TO. AND THEN THEY DELIVERED IT. And then-
As soon as you realise everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, that happened..... I don't even know how to articulate how I felt. I was overwhelmed. I quite literally leaned forward in my seat, head was between knees in my hands and I laughed hysterically. I couldn't. I still can't. It was one of the most ridiculous moments in my life.

Take from that what you will. Just...unless someone tells you, YOU ARE NOT PREPARED.

Vampire Diaries:
I think I'm speaking for a whole lot of people when I say how tired I am of Elena drama. (Although I am a big Nina Dobrev fan. That girl is gorgeous). Not sick of the Salvatore triangle, but the general, endless, infuriating dangerous conflict that happen BECAUSE of her. Also her moral and ethical standing, as much as we get that she's that kind of character and the show needs that kind of element, it's a pain in the freaking arse. She does just cry and whine all the time. We understand why and accept it. But it's so damn annoying.

We were this close guys. This close and it would have stopped. And then Damon came. And things get...not weird...but different.

And then that ending that just happened? It happened. It actually happened. And I like the way it happened. It was mature and sensible and honest and not dramatic. But then, how is this going to unfold in the future? It can't just go BAM and TA DA right? Or it could...I wouldn't mind